Going Solo

Can I tell you how much I love going to see a movie alone? No talking? Perfect. Ability to get a GOOD seat, not front row, for the newest box office hit on a whim? Definitely. And for $20 I can get a ticket, single-serve bag of popcorn and mass quantities of Diet Coke. So I already knew and happily planned on seeing Solo, solo. And this happened:

After telling the ticket clerk I needed one ticket for the next Solo she looked at me and said “I LOVE going to the movies alone. It’s so freeing, you don’t have to worry if anyone else likes the movie, just you!”

And then this happened:

My seat was next to, a best guess, a pre-teen boy and his dad.

(Narrator voice) Kim is not being judgmental, but she is probably still going to sound bitchy when she describes her movie tavern neighbors.

Well, they were both pasty, tubby grunt-speakers. And I’m pretty sure the kid was dropping some popcorn farts toward the end of the movie.

(Narrator voice) Well fuck, Kim. Definitely bitchy.

I guess my point was that I am tan, not as tubby and most definitely not a grunter with a limited vocabulary, so maybe we didn’t look like we would be ........together. Imagine how hard I laughed when the waiter asked me “And you ma’am?”

 “OH WE’RE NOT TOGETHER” immediately rolled off my tongue. It was several minutes later before it occurred to me that maybe....to the waiter... I looked like I belonged with those guys....
Getting old is humbling shit.


Loved the movie, by the way!