This weekend brought not one, but two of my ex-husbands into my orbit. The most recent ex is in town for a week and had offered to help me with some chores around the house in exchange for my old cell phone. The first ex and I were together for our granddaughter's first birthday party. So in preparation for this weekend I asked my buddy to bump my hair appointment up a week earlier... because vanity was not going to let me show up with gray roots. I was already scheduled for a facial this week so I was in good shape going in.
First ex walked into party, greeted me and told me my hair looked nice. Score! Later in the day when we were having dinner he told his daughter that the broccoli casserole was good, but it was not as good as the broccoli casserole that his mother made and then he pointed to me and added "or as good as she made." Considering that I used his mother's recipe....I still count that as a win.
Second ex and I had pleasant dinner and I paid him the last installment on our divorce settlement. A huge weight is lifted off my shoulders now. And while I would say that our visit has been pleasant overall, there have definitely been some bumps.....like today. We were weeding out a section of the side and backyard and we were discussing society. He has always played the "white man is penalized" card, so naturally right after I commented that he was lucky that he was a white man, this went down:
Ex: (extreme sarcasm) Oh yeah? People act like the white man is responsible for destroying everything.
Me: Well, aren't you? How many women do you know of that are running around the country doing mass shootings? People of color? It's young..white..men...with anger issues.
We gardened in silence for quite some time. Beautiful day.
Featured Post
Introductions
In all great relationships, there are beginnings, introductions. So this is the Reader’s Digest version (“condensed”for you younger folks) ...
Monday, September 2, 2019
Friday, August 30, 2019
Heard This Week on the Massage Table
Last week a client that been coming to my business, for couples massage for many wedding anniversaries, called to see if I still offered this service. I explained that I wasn't set up for this any longer and I told her try a massage chain(that shall remain unnamed). She thanked me and we hung up. Some time passed and she called to ask if I would be able to work on her and her spouse back to back. Scheduled. Boom.
The evening of the massage came and when it was the husband's turn, he told me the story of how the couples massage that really wasn't a couples massage came to be. He said his wife had called and booked the couples massage at the place I recommended and when she told him, he had instructed her to call and cancel the other appointment if I was free. I was and they came to see me. He told me that he explained to her that whenever he went somewhere else for massage, he always left feeling like he had just wasted his money and he regretted not waiting for my next opening. So they opted to go back to back and get a better massage.
I can't tell you how honored I feel.
A friend and I went to a Mexican joint and I was describing the comedy to one of my regular clients. There was an item on the menu that I was not familiar with "Barbacoda" was how it was listed on the menu, so I asked the waitress what "barbacoda" was. The waitress(who was not Mexican) was quick to correct my pronunciation with "It's supposed to be barba CO UH" and then she just stopped talking. I looked at my friend and we blinked and smiled. Friend says "Well now that you've told us how to pronounce it, can you tell us what it IS?" Waitress does and leaves to place our order and we howl about it she was quick to correct me but slow on the description.
Client says "Sounds like she had a big ole tortilla chip on her shoulder!"
We both laughed hysterically.
The evening of the massage came and when it was the husband's turn, he told me the story of how the couples massage that really wasn't a couples massage came to be. He said his wife had called and booked the couples massage at the place I recommended and when she told him, he had instructed her to call and cancel the other appointment if I was free. I was and they came to see me. He told me that he explained to her that whenever he went somewhere else for massage, he always left feeling like he had just wasted his money and he regretted not waiting for my next opening. So they opted to go back to back and get a better massage.
I can't tell you how honored I feel.
A friend and I went to a Mexican joint and I was describing the comedy to one of my regular clients. There was an item on the menu that I was not familiar with "Barbacoda" was how it was listed on the menu, so I asked the waitress what "barbacoda" was. The waitress(who was not Mexican) was quick to correct my pronunciation with "It's supposed to be barba CO UH" and then she just stopped talking. I looked at my friend and we blinked and smiled. Friend says "Well now that you've told us how to pronounce it, can you tell us what it IS?" Waitress does and leaves to place our order and we howl about it she was quick to correct me but slow on the description.
Client says "Sounds like she had a big ole tortilla chip on her shoulder!"
We both laughed hysterically.
Saturday, August 24, 2019
Integrity
Yeah, it's been a while....so ya better buckle in.
I have a code. The Code of Kim, we'll call it.
No matter what I do, I will strive to do it to the best of my abilities. I will shoot for being the best and sometimes I might actually achieve it. On the times that I fail I will know I gave it my best effort.
Simple enough. I can add to this along the way. Try to be polite 99% of the time. Know when to keep my thoughts to myself to keep peace. Know sometimes you have to speak up for yourself and others. Look for a positive, even in a negative situation. You get the idea. TRY TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING. There. I said it.
Why does it seem next to impossible to find other like-minded folks, decent human beings who strive to do the right thing? Better still why is it so easy for some people to NOT do the right thing? This is what I have been pondering the last few weeks whilst Kimsplaining with a mechanic, a landscaper, a cashier.....hell, it felt like half of Lexington. I asked myself if these folks were dim, lazy, miserable and depressed, having an off day, greed driven, or what caused them to offer me such shitty service. The best explanation I could come up with is that there is a noticeable decline in integrity.
Integrity noun
The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness
The state of being whole an undivided
Internal consistency or lack of corruption
Most of the time I can shed bad manners and mediocre service, but not so much lately. I have done lots of work to find a peaceful Kim and I protect her. I would never presume to expect every person I come in contact with to have the same code as I, but I do expect them to do the job they promised, or at least DO their job with a modicum of integrity. But NOOOOOOOOO. So here is what I internalized rather than causing a scene:
Yo,Walmartian! I came thru your lane instead of using the self checkout lane because I care that the Waltons are getting rid of your job and paying you lousy wages. It would be great if next time you don't throw in two bags of hard candy on top of my bread and the other bread was probably not a good choice to go in a bag with the gallon of lemon ammonia. Is it too much to ask that you at least know the bread should be in the same bag....and not with items that flatten them out? And at least say THANK YOU after you destroy my groceries, huh?!". Stupid, lazy or both?
I had a mini text argument with my landscaper over his associate fertilizing my yard, during a drought, and frying my already dry lawn. After an exchange when I had told him that my son had agreed with me that the fertilizer was the reason for my dead grass, he texted "Not being combative but I need to ask does you son treat lawns and is he trained with a license?". Okay, so I didn't keep my thoughts to myself with this guy. "He is. You want to measure appendages with my son vs you in landscaping?" Condescension and lack of integrity will get you fired...jury is still out at the moment.
Mr. Mechanic! I scheduled an appointment for Thursday, your first opening. When I called on Friday and you said you hadn't even pulled my car in the garage, that was bad business. When you called me on Friday to say the part you needed would not be in until Monday, I understood. When Tuesday rolled around and this was the third day you had an excuse and subsequently cost me $300 in business that I could not travel to, you should have offered apologies and discounts. When I told you why I was upset, you really shouldn't have told me that my yelling was not helping anything. Okay, so I told him off too.... "Let's put the shoe on the other foot. If I held your car hostage for five days and cost you $300, how do you think you might be talking to me right now? Think you might be just a bit upset, angry, feel like you were lied to.... How about if maybe you had told me that you were two technicians down when I called to book the appointment, I could have went elsewhere, but since you chose to keep that to yourself, it makes you look like you lied and that's bad business."
To me, every one of these incidents are results of their lack of integrity. Every day chores, job duties, relationships, they are all worthy tasks and I wish more of us could perform with integrity. Because I have integrity, I had to fire a client this week. I like this person very much, but they did not respect my boundaries. The simple boundaries:
1. It should be obvious that my day off is a day OFF and NO, I do not want to massage you on my day off.
2. I earn my living by doing massage. I do not work for free....or a $5 lunch.
3. I have 13 yrs experience. Don't tell me how to do my job.
I did not come to this decision lightly. I even considered telling them if we continued working together that we would need to have some rules in place. But then I thought they would be worrying about the rules while they were on the massage table and that they would get a crappy massage, so I decided it was best to just end our massage relationship. I was not comfortable doing this, but sometimes doing the right thing, with integrity isn't easy....
I have a code. The Code of Kim, we'll call it.
No matter what I do, I will strive to do it to the best of my abilities. I will shoot for being the best and sometimes I might actually achieve it. On the times that I fail I will know I gave it my best effort.
Simple enough. I can add to this along the way. Try to be polite 99% of the time. Know when to keep my thoughts to myself to keep peace. Know sometimes you have to speak up for yourself and others. Look for a positive, even in a negative situation. You get the idea. TRY TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING. There. I said it.
Why does it seem next to impossible to find other like-minded folks, decent human beings who strive to do the right thing? Better still why is it so easy for some people to NOT do the right thing? This is what I have been pondering the last few weeks whilst Kimsplaining with a mechanic, a landscaper, a cashier.....hell, it felt like half of Lexington. I asked myself if these folks were dim, lazy, miserable and depressed, having an off day, greed driven, or what caused them to offer me such shitty service. The best explanation I could come up with is that there is a noticeable decline in integrity.
Integrity noun
The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness
The state of being whole an undivided
Internal consistency or lack of corruption
Most of the time I can shed bad manners and mediocre service, but not so much lately. I have done lots of work to find a peaceful Kim and I protect her. I would never presume to expect every person I come in contact with to have the same code as I, but I do expect them to do the job they promised, or at least DO their job with a modicum of integrity. But NOOOOOOOOO. So here is what I internalized rather than causing a scene:
Yo,Walmartian! I came thru your lane instead of using the self checkout lane because I care that the Waltons are getting rid of your job and paying you lousy wages. It would be great if next time you don't throw in two bags of hard candy on top of my bread and the other bread was probably not a good choice to go in a bag with the gallon of lemon ammonia. Is it too much to ask that you at least know the bread should be in the same bag....and not with items that flatten them out? And at least say THANK YOU after you destroy my groceries, huh?!". Stupid, lazy or both?
I had a mini text argument with my landscaper over his associate fertilizing my yard, during a drought, and frying my already dry lawn. After an exchange when I had told him that my son had agreed with me that the fertilizer was the reason for my dead grass, he texted "Not being combative but I need to ask does you son treat lawns and is he trained with a license?". Okay, so I didn't keep my thoughts to myself with this guy. "He is. You want to measure appendages with my son vs you in landscaping?" Condescension and lack of integrity will get you fired...jury is still out at the moment.
Mr. Mechanic! I scheduled an appointment for Thursday, your first opening. When I called on Friday and you said you hadn't even pulled my car in the garage, that was bad business. When you called me on Friday to say the part you needed would not be in until Monday, I understood. When Tuesday rolled around and this was the third day you had an excuse and subsequently cost me $300 in business that I could not travel to, you should have offered apologies and discounts. When I told you why I was upset, you really shouldn't have told me that my yelling was not helping anything. Okay, so I told him off too.... "Let's put the shoe on the other foot. If I held your car hostage for five days and cost you $300, how do you think you might be talking to me right now? Think you might be just a bit upset, angry, feel like you were lied to.... How about if maybe you had told me that you were two technicians down when I called to book the appointment, I could have went elsewhere, but since you chose to keep that to yourself, it makes you look like you lied and that's bad business."
To me, every one of these incidents are results of their lack of integrity. Every day chores, job duties, relationships, they are all worthy tasks and I wish more of us could perform with integrity. Because I have integrity, I had to fire a client this week. I like this person very much, but they did not respect my boundaries. The simple boundaries:
1. It should be obvious that my day off is a day OFF and NO, I do not want to massage you on my day off.
2. I earn my living by doing massage. I do not work for free....or a $5 lunch.
3. I have 13 yrs experience. Don't tell me how to do my job.
I did not come to this decision lightly. I even considered telling them if we continued working together that we would need to have some rules in place. But then I thought they would be worrying about the rules while they were on the massage table and that they would get a crappy massage, so I decided it was best to just end our massage relationship. I was not comfortable doing this, but sometimes doing the right thing, with integrity isn't easy....
Tuesday, June 18, 2019
Dating Profiles
I recently offered to take a male friend's photo for his dating site profile picture. I explained it was my belief that most men have no clue how to take a selfie and therefore undersell themselves by posting a crappy photo (usually shot in a bathroom mirror with a cell phone). I mean let's face it, men are not the only visually stimulated creatures out there....or at least *I* need to be attracted to men both in personality and looks. I also told him that less was more on the details; we like mystery. Then to prove my point I said I could do a dating profile for Brutus and give him a glimpse of how I would do a bio.
Hi! My name is Brutus and I will tell you a little about who I am and hope I intrigue you. I am very sensitive and affectionate. 99.9 percent of the time I am just a happy guy. I come from a blended family. My sister is a black cat and as my human mom says "we are all colorblind in this house and we believe love is love". So I am open to any color or breed, maybe even open to other species.
I love to cuddle on the couch. I love walks in the park near my home. I spend time overnight regularly with my friend Rosie and a lady that is known as my second mom. I have so much love to give that I kinda have two families, but I would still love to find that special bitch to call my own.
I believe in public displays of urinating and will not give this up, so know this going in please. I also have a great dislike for mail carriers that I am working to overcome. We all hate Trump in my family so if you support him and his evil minions, please do not reach out to me.
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
Game of Thrones Finale
Okay, I have waited long enough for most of you to have seen the series finale so here comes my not so shiny review. I felt like this whole season was hurried, disjointed and imho bad writing. Eight years is a long time for a show to run and trying to tie up eight years of story line in six bloody shows was just not fair to the fans. Sorry, it wasn't. And while we are on the subject of not fair to fans....could someone please tell George RR Martin to FINISH WRITING THE BOOK SERIES NOW? I mean, he left us with Jon Snow being murdered....and nada. But this rant is about the show, not the books. So here goes.
1. Did anybody notice how the Dothraki and Unsullied suddenly multiplied like rabbits after the siege of the Red Keep? The battle of Winterfell left very few Dothraki alive.....
2. Why didn't anyone try to put Jon on the throne after he killed Dany? He was the rightful heir. We get the big reveal of his true identity and it was a nothing burger? He deserved a better ending.
3. I hated the Targaryen insanity plot line, but it was plausible and could have been a terrific story IF WE HAD MORE EPISODES AND TIME TO SEE IT SLOWLY COME TO BE.
4. Hated, hated, hated the ending for Jaime Lannister. I knew he was going to die but I wanted him to kill that hateful sister of his instead of comforting her. So this makes the witch prophecy of little brother killing her moot. I WANTED A LANNISTER TO BE QUEENSLAYER TOO DANGIT.
5. For how many seasons has Bran been saying he was not a man anymore and then after a 10 minute debate he is named the king?
6. Watching the new council's first session....almost as bad as watching the Sopranos eat, try to park a car, and fade to rock music.
1. Did anybody notice how the Dothraki and Unsullied suddenly multiplied like rabbits after the siege of the Red Keep? The battle of Winterfell left very few Dothraki alive.....
2. Why didn't anyone try to put Jon on the throne after he killed Dany? He was the rightful heir. We get the big reveal of his true identity and it was a nothing burger? He deserved a better ending.
3. I hated the Targaryen insanity plot line, but it was plausible and could have been a terrific story IF WE HAD MORE EPISODES AND TIME TO SEE IT SLOWLY COME TO BE.
4. Hated, hated, hated the ending for Jaime Lannister. I knew he was going to die but I wanted him to kill that hateful sister of his instead of comforting her. So this makes the witch prophecy of little brother killing her moot. I WANTED A LANNISTER TO BE QUEENSLAYER TOO DANGIT.
5. For how many seasons has Bran been saying he was not a man anymore and then after a 10 minute debate he is named the king?
6. Watching the new council's first session....almost as bad as watching the Sopranos eat, try to park a car, and fade to rock music.
Friday, May 10, 2019
Kim's Week
So I am sharing some photos I have taken over the past week. Yes, that is indeed a groundhog family and there was another baby in my yard that didn't make the paparazzi reel. You knew I would post at least one moon shot. The iris bouquet is from a lovely friend.
Funniest thing a client said to me was in reference to feeding our grandkids: I told (husband) I did not feel it was our responsibility as grandparents to ensure these kids eat vegetables.
Funniest and saddest information I learned: You know how to recognize the alcoholics? They always show up carrying red Solo cups. My sister enlightened me to this fact.....at a funeral home.
Played trivia at a local brewery and won despite the raging control freak aggressive teammate(?) who micromanaged the team and argued with me about The Horse Whisperer---like I don't know who Robert Frickin Redford is.....and I told her so, but with some different words.
Played cornhole.
Derby/Birthday Party with a photo booth....
Scored Latisse thanks to a client/friend.
Scored leggings thanks to a client/friend.
Funniest thing a friend said to me after I blamed porn for my second son: The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Yeah, just another normal week.
Funniest thing a client said to me was in reference to feeding our grandkids: I told (husband) I did not feel it was our responsibility as grandparents to ensure these kids eat vegetables.
Funniest and saddest information I learned: You know how to recognize the alcoholics? They always show up carrying red Solo cups. My sister enlightened me to this fact.....at a funeral home.
Played trivia at a local brewery and won despite the raging control freak aggressive teammate(?) who micromanaged the team and argued with me about The Horse Whisperer---like I don't know who Robert Frickin Redford is.....and I told her so, but with some different words.
Played cornhole.
Derby/Birthday Party with a photo booth....
Scored Latisse thanks to a client/friend.
Scored leggings thanks to a client/friend.
Funniest thing a friend said to me after I blamed porn for my second son: The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Yeah, just another normal week.
 |
| These ungrateful roses left me with thorns in my hands. |
 |
| The yellow iris photo bombed this white beauty. |
Anyone know what this is? It is growing up from the creek bank behind my house.
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Noticings
I learned the word "noticing" in massage school. It's kind of abstract and leaves itself open to individuals having their own interpretation. For me it means something or someone reveals itself to me, and by revealing it/their self to me I am able to see things or people on a deeper level.
I'll give you some examples:
While I was hung up on the second sentence in this post, I had a noticing. I noticed that I was feeling constricted and decided it had to do with the fact that I was wearing a bra. After removing my bra I found I could breathe easier and my writing resumed.
My client had a very tight neck and her shoulder muscles were rigid when I palpated them. I had a noticing. Her scapulae were winged out. I decided to massage around her pecs and sternum to see if releasing these muscles could help relax the ones that were causing her pain.
Okay, maybe those aren't the best examples but by the end of this piece, I hope the meaning is revealed to you.
Today is Easter and it was highly unlikely that my family was going to get together this year, so I went ahead and booked a client for a 2 hour massage. I rationalized if we did visit it would be after church so this massage appointment was not going to keep me from anything important later. And as I predicted, there was too much life happening for us all to get together. So Manic Kim came to visit after my client left. Almost magically, or basically right after my coffee kicked in, I Marie Kondo'd the ever-loving shit out of my basement. I bagged up the goodwill clothes that had been sitting in my papasan chair for many weeks. Then I decided I wanted to get rid of the tiles that had been sitting under my staircase for years, so I tossed them in the bag with the goodwill clothes, because I had a noticing. I took the goodwill donation out of the equation after I rationalized that it was easier to put this stuff out on the curb with the garbage (and let's face it, outside a pair of jeans this heaping pile of clothes was nothing special) and then I proceeded to toss all the downstairs junk into a heavy duty contractor's garbage bag with the clothes and tiles. It felt so good to be cleaning on Easter. Renewal. Spring cleaning. Feeling joy. Then I had another noticing. I noticed that big ole bag of my rejection was too stinking heavy for me to carry it to the curb. I noticed this when my back and arms and legs and neck all screamed AWW HELL NO!
I'll give you some examples:
While I was hung up on the second sentence in this post, I had a noticing. I noticed that I was feeling constricted and decided it had to do with the fact that I was wearing a bra. After removing my bra I found I could breathe easier and my writing resumed.
My client had a very tight neck and her shoulder muscles were rigid when I palpated them. I had a noticing. Her scapulae were winged out. I decided to massage around her pecs and sternum to see if releasing these muscles could help relax the ones that were causing her pain.
Okay, maybe those aren't the best examples but by the end of this piece, I hope the meaning is revealed to you.
Today is Easter and it was highly unlikely that my family was going to get together this year, so I went ahead and booked a client for a 2 hour massage. I rationalized if we did visit it would be after church so this massage appointment was not going to keep me from anything important later. And as I predicted, there was too much life happening for us all to get together. So Manic Kim came to visit after my client left. Almost magically, or basically right after my coffee kicked in, I Marie Kondo'd the ever-loving shit out of my basement. I bagged up the goodwill clothes that had been sitting in my papasan chair for many weeks. Then I decided I wanted to get rid of the tiles that had been sitting under my staircase for years, so I tossed them in the bag with the goodwill clothes, because I had a noticing. I took the goodwill donation out of the equation after I rationalized that it was easier to put this stuff out on the curb with the garbage (and let's face it, outside a pair of jeans this heaping pile of clothes was nothing special) and then I proceeded to toss all the downstairs junk into a heavy duty contractor's garbage bag with the clothes and tiles. It felt so good to be cleaning on Easter. Renewal. Spring cleaning. Feeling joy. Then I had another noticing. I noticed that big ole bag of my rejection was too stinking heavy for me to carry it to the curb. I noticed this when my back and arms and legs and neck all screamed AWW HELL NO!
Friday, April 19, 2019
Moments With Cam
Last weekend Cam was hitting golf balls off a tee in their backyard. Mind you he has been doing this since he was two years old, so he is ahead of the curve. When he allowed me to take a turn, it was the first time I had ever tried to hit a ball from a tee....my experience was with putters on mini golf. So I whacked the ball and sliced it to the right. Cam looked at me and said "You're not very good are you?".
When I was babysitting Cam yesterday, he climbed up in my lap and asked for a massage. I started rubbing his back through his pjs and he told me I couldn't really get his back like that so he politely slid off his shirt and I continued. After a few minutes he thanked me for his massage and as an afterthought he said "My mom is not a real massager like you, she's just a nurse."
As we were walking to the ball field another little boy had discovered a very interesting plant that grew in a coil form and it had somehow managed to pop up thru a crack in the sidewalk. The kid asked his dad what it was....Cam answered him instead. Without missing a step he said "It's a weed." The kid, unconvinced, turned to his dad and again asked what it was that he had been lucky enough to find. Cam stopped walking, turned and looked at his teammate and said "I TOLD you... it was a WEED." He shook his head as we walked off.
Most of my day was spent really taking care of the 8 month old granddaughter yesterday, so when she was napping I pulled Cam into my lap and told him "I am gonna steal some sugar from you because I have not had any of your good sugar today" and then I pecked him on the cheek a couple of times. Cam turned around, threw his arms around me and said "I am gonna steal some sugar from you because I haven't had any of your sugar either" and he gave me a kiss.
We were having Fazoli's for supper last nite and when Cam noticed that our partially eaten breadsticks were the same size, we both picked our sticks up and at the same time we touched breadsticks and said "CHEERS"
When I was babysitting Cam yesterday, he climbed up in my lap and asked for a massage. I started rubbing his back through his pjs and he told me I couldn't really get his back like that so he politely slid off his shirt and I continued. After a few minutes he thanked me for his massage and as an afterthought he said "My mom is not a real massager like you, she's just a nurse."
As we were walking to the ball field another little boy had discovered a very interesting plant that grew in a coil form and it had somehow managed to pop up thru a crack in the sidewalk. The kid asked his dad what it was....Cam answered him instead. Without missing a step he said "It's a weed." The kid, unconvinced, turned to his dad and again asked what it was that he had been lucky enough to find. Cam stopped walking, turned and looked at his teammate and said "I TOLD you... it was a WEED." He shook his head as we walked off.
Most of my day was spent really taking care of the 8 month old granddaughter yesterday, so when she was napping I pulled Cam into my lap and told him "I am gonna steal some sugar from you because I have not had any of your good sugar today" and then I pecked him on the cheek a couple of times. Cam turned around, threw his arms around me and said "I am gonna steal some sugar from you because I haven't had any of your sugar either" and he gave me a kiss.
We were having Fazoli's for supper last nite and when Cam noticed that our partially eaten breadsticks were the same size, we both picked our sticks up and at the same time we touched breadsticks and said "CHEERS"
Thursday, April 4, 2019
Cam Moments
When I was watching the grandbabies recently, Cam went to the kitchen and came back to sit beside me and watch tv...with two individual cups of Pringles.
Cam: (drops one of the chip cups in my lap) I got you one too, Mimi.
Me: Well thanks but Mimi isn't really hungry right now.
Cam: (Pats me in the wrist) You can just take that home with ya.
While we were watching a show about dinosaurs, one character yelled "What in the world was that?" and Mimi being silly yelled back at the TV "It's a T-Rex!". Cam raised up, wrinkled his brow and said "He can't hear you...." then leans back and shakes his head. I don't know whether I should or shouldn't be offended that a three year old thinks he is mentally superior to me right now.
(Walking into Chik-fil-a)
Cam: What you gonna have Mimi?
Me: I think I am going to have a chicken sandwich and a big Diet Coke.
Cam: I think I will too.
Me: You like Diet Coke?
Cam: Yeah....it's not good for ya, but yeah.
Mimi's favorite little boy genius.
Cam: (drops one of the chip cups in my lap) I got you one too, Mimi.
Me: Well thanks but Mimi isn't really hungry right now.
Cam: (Pats me in the wrist) You can just take that home with ya.
While we were watching a show about dinosaurs, one character yelled "What in the world was that?" and Mimi being silly yelled back at the TV "It's a T-Rex!". Cam raised up, wrinkled his brow and said "He can't hear you...." then leans back and shakes his head. I don't know whether I should or shouldn't be offended that a three year old thinks he is mentally superior to me right now.
(Walking into Chik-fil-a)
Cam: What you gonna have Mimi?
Me: I think I am going to have a chicken sandwich and a big Diet Coke.
Cam: I think I will too.
Me: You like Diet Coke?
Cam: Yeah....it's not good for ya, but yeah.
Mimi's favorite little boy genius.
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Self Reflection
- meditation or serious thought about one's character, actions, and motives.
For the past three years, I have spent a lot of my time doing this. I mean after two failed marriages (both I chose to end), a son who is an addict, with tendencies of someone suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (my two years psych lol), and my very blunt and sometimes too honest side...
Who better for some fine tuning?
What I have learned:
Living alone is very serene. At first it was awkward and scary, but after the initial shock to my system wore off I began craving my solitude. I went from roaming Walmart and Costco just so I could be near other humans to avoiding crowds because they annoyed and overwhelmed me with all the inane small talk and phoniness. Living alone is also empowering. I now know how to change filters in my furnace. I have dug a grave and buried a pet. I have become a master at removing standing water from my basement. I am definitely more self-reliant these days.
I am a very sarcastic person and my sense of humor can be misinterpreted very easily. A friend was complaining about another friend being so negative and as an afterthought she said "You're negative but you're funny so I don't mind you!". I was dumbstruck. I had never considered myself negative. I went down the cosmic wormhole of truth and looked at myself and then I looked at how others interacted with me. If you ever wonder about whether you are perceived as good or evil, nice or jerk, honest or phony, just take a peek at your timeline on Facebook...and not the recent stuff, go back several years. I did and found that for several years I posted a lot of funny, but fairly aggressive memes about a variety of things. I posted a lot of sarcastic comments and though I use sarcasm to make light of unpleasant situations, it can still come off as negative to some people (like my friend).
I had never really considered this a form of negativity, yet...it was. When I looked at those sarcastic memes, I found my friends liked the negative memes a lot more than when I posted happy things. You attract what you put out, so I changed this part of my life too. The only negative things I post are things that resonate with me personally or have affected me in some way. I do not comment on a lot of posts online anymore because I do not like drama and it is no longer important for me to be involved in conversations that I know are toxic and negative. Rest assured that I read that crap, I simply choose to ignore it and not let it annoy me anymore. Unsolicited advice? If you read your older posts and they are negative, and then you read your recent ones and they are negative, and you are still being misunderstood by friends, family and co-workers....self reflection is highly recommended and the results are highly enjoyable and drama-free.
No response is a powerful response. In the past if someone attacked me you can bet your last dollar I was right in the middle of that argument before the ink dried. You never had to worry what I was thinking because I was going to tell you with some colorful words and hand gestures. Now I follow the Papa Joe playbook...I finally learned to choose my battles. Instead of arguing I sit quietly and think about the reason that this person could be directing their negativity and anger toward me. I know that their actions have more to do with themselves and their beliefs than whatever has them so stirred up with me at that moment. More often than not I simply do not respond. This keeps me from escalating the situation, keeps me from saying things or doing things that I might later regret, but most importantly it leaves the aggressor unsure of what comes next.
Unsolicited advice is not always welcome. The old Kim would have jumped right in on the bashing of a friend's husband, boss, mother-in-law, etc I would have offered you a dozen scenarios to help you right the wrong done to you. The new me sits and listens and tells you how sorry I am that you are going through this terrible time and will only offer assistance or advice when I am directly asked what my opinion is. I refuse to get involved in he said/she said or gossiping and tattling anymore. I also have no desire to be around people who think this is acceptable conversation and I try to limit my time around these folks too. Seeing a pattern? lol
Society does not dictate my life. I used to worry what other folks thought about my life. I wanted to be the best and wanted to be good. I felt guilty about a great many things. Now I live my life for me and me alone. If I want that extra sauce and a side of beef to go, I don't worry too much about how many pounds it will pack on me. If I want to eat out 7 days/week I do. If I am not into something I say so. I wear pjs a lot. I swear a lot. I dabble in magical things, which means I don't hide my gifts anymore. I share them instead. I shoot squirrels with my pink bb gun. I no longer feel tremendous guilt for some of the hard choices I have had to make. Life is pretty good when you let go of all that pretense and just simply live.
Of course I could go on, but this gives you an idea of what my definition of self reflection is about. I challenge you to look at yourself with open eyes and an open mind, try that Facebook review and I promise you will see things differently.
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Lazy Saturday Photos
The stormy clouds were taken over a period of 15 minutes, it rivaled fireworks.
Thursday, March 14, 2019
Mimi Massage
My massage clients are a wide variety of ages. My youngest is single digits and my oldest is over 80 years old. Most of my younger clients call me Miss Kim, one calls me Mimi.
It started, by me stroking his wee back when he was an infant. He would immediately relax and basically would not move until I quit touching his back. Sometimes his eyes would get heavy, most times he had a lazy smile on his face, but every time he enjoyed it and found it pleasurable. Over the years we moved to massaging his piggies and most recently we crack eggs. For any of y'all that do not know this one, I lightly rap my knuckles on Cam's head while saying "Crack, crack, crack.", then I very slowly and gently drag my fingernails thru his hair to make it feel like an egg yolk is dripping down his head. He loves this and we crack loads of eggs when we visit. Since then we have evolved a bit more...
Mimi was helping watch the grandbabies Monday and about 30 minutes after I arrived the following went down:
"You massage, Mimi?" as he sits next to me on the sofa.
"I do. Is that your way of asking if Mimi will massage you?"
(Nods.)
"What would you like me to massage, sir?"
"My back, yeah. My back."
I tell him he will have to lay down for me and he rolled onto his belly and draped himself over my lap. I started gently stroking his back and then I softly rubbed around his shoulder-blades. Huge sigh and he looks up at me and says "That just feels really good."
Telling ya the kid is a genius.
It started, by me stroking his wee back when he was an infant. He would immediately relax and basically would not move until I quit touching his back. Sometimes his eyes would get heavy, most times he had a lazy smile on his face, but every time he enjoyed it and found it pleasurable. Over the years we moved to massaging his piggies and most recently we crack eggs. For any of y'all that do not know this one, I lightly rap my knuckles on Cam's head while saying "Crack, crack, crack.", then I very slowly and gently drag my fingernails thru his hair to make it feel like an egg yolk is dripping down his head. He loves this and we crack loads of eggs when we visit. Since then we have evolved a bit more...
Mimi was helping watch the grandbabies Monday and about 30 minutes after I arrived the following went down:
"You massage, Mimi?" as he sits next to me on the sofa.
"I do. Is that your way of asking if Mimi will massage you?"
(Nods.)
"What would you like me to massage, sir?"
"My back, yeah. My back."
I tell him he will have to lay down for me and he rolled onto his belly and draped himself over my lap. I started gently stroking his back and then I softly rubbed around his shoulder-blades. Huge sigh and he looks up at me and says "That just feels really good."
Telling ya the kid is a genius.
Friday, March 8, 2019
More Snow and Birds
I shot most of these in about 15 minutes. I put the feeders out at 7am and had to refill the feeders around noon. As best I can tell there are 10-12 cardinals that hang around in my tiny yard and today I saw 3 mated pairs of cow birds, 3 varieties of woodpeckers, mourning doves that I got to watch puff up and coo, and loads of songbirds. I shew off the grackles and starlings. Enjoy!
Monday, March 4, 2019
Snow Day
My feeders drew a crowd today.
And if anybody can help me verify this bird, I would appreciate it. I think it looks like an oriole but I cannot be sure.
Saturday, February 23, 2019
Magical Mini Panther
Oni was very small when she showed up and begged to come inside, so I originally thought she was a few months old. But as Oni aged she did not grow into an adult-sized body, so I had to rethink her age and consider that she might be older than I thought, so I have always guesstimated her age. But in any event she was this tiny black kitten with huge green eyes and we all loved her immediately, Brutus included. She slept with Brutus and they sunned together on the cat tree/scratch post. They were siblings, but the kind that really liked each other. She learned from Bru and her humans, so she most definitely has some cat traits but she also has dog and human mannerisms in her bag of tricks....and she has this talent of being able to mimic other creatures.
When Oni watches birds, she chirps to them.
When I am not responding to her meows, she stands on her hind legs and waves her little jazz paw at me to get my attention. (Learned when I would wave to get her attention.)
Mostly she mimics Brutus.
When she learned of this magical thing, the treat, she started sitting next to Brutus so she could get in on this action. She has since parlayed this into getting treats from some of my clients as she has learned which ones love on Brutus and knows that she should definitely greet them as well...cause treats. She and Brutus chase the red dot of mystery and they hunt and play fight with each other. Lately she has decided that she wants to play wrestle and roll around on the floor with Brutus and me. She runs in and head butts me and flops over on her back and wiggles her paws up in the air....like Brutus and I were doing. When we wrestled, she would insert herself into the mix when she found an opening. I told my friend she was more dog than cat some days.
Today was one of those dog and human mixed days for Oni. Brutus is on a sleepover so Oni assumes his jobs in his absence. (I have no idea why or how this came to be, but she has made it so.) Brutus is the official squirrel chaser in our family, I am the official squirrel hunter. Today Oni took this task to the next level. When we saw the squirrel out back, I reached for my bb gun and Oni ran to the sliders and meowed repeatedly until I said "Okay!". She obviously wanted to chase the squirrel off the deck like Bru does, so I figured why not. When I cracked the door she ran out onto the deck, stood up on her hind-legs and started waving her front paws and meowing like a maniac. When it was all clear she strutted back in meowing of her victory. She learned this from Brutus and me. We run out on the deck, I yell, he barks and then we return like the badass squirrel conquerors that we are. We may not be the most effective pest control but by gosh we are the most comical.
When Oni watches birds, she chirps to them.
When I am not responding to her meows, she stands on her hind legs and waves her little jazz paw at me to get my attention. (Learned when I would wave to get her attention.)
Mostly she mimics Brutus.
When she learned of this magical thing, the treat, she started sitting next to Brutus so she could get in on this action. She has since parlayed this into getting treats from some of my clients as she has learned which ones love on Brutus and knows that she should definitely greet them as well...cause treats. She and Brutus chase the red dot of mystery and they hunt and play fight with each other. Lately she has decided that she wants to play wrestle and roll around on the floor with Brutus and me. She runs in and head butts me and flops over on her back and wiggles her paws up in the air....like Brutus and I were doing. When we wrestled, she would insert herself into the mix when she found an opening. I told my friend she was more dog than cat some days.
Today was one of those dog and human mixed days for Oni. Brutus is on a sleepover so Oni assumes his jobs in his absence. (I have no idea why or how this came to be, but she has made it so.) Brutus is the official squirrel chaser in our family, I am the official squirrel hunter. Today Oni took this task to the next level. When we saw the squirrel out back, I reached for my bb gun and Oni ran to the sliders and meowed repeatedly until I said "Okay!". She obviously wanted to chase the squirrel off the deck like Bru does, so I figured why not. When I cracked the door she ran out onto the deck, stood up on her hind-legs and started waving her front paws and meowing like a maniac. When it was all clear she strutted back in meowing of her victory. She learned this from Brutus and me. We run out on the deck, I yell, he barks and then we return like the badass squirrel conquerors that we are. We may not be the most effective pest control but by gosh we are the most comical.
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Heard This Week on the Massage Table
One of my older ladies could pass for the patron saint for cats. She is always rescuing animals and taking them to her local vet. This week, as she chuckled, she told me that she had taken Juni to the vet to be spayed. Vet calls her and says he can't spay Juni because Juni, as it turns out, is a male cat. She tells me she is going to have to give her kitty a new name.
Me: Add OR to it. JuniOR. He'll never know he was Juni for six months.
I was talking about my Valentine's Day Facebook post with a client who is very active in creative writing. She says "So your first husband was a poet?".
Me: Oh nooooo. He didn't write deep meaningful poetry....but he could rhyme very well.
Me: Yeah, so I asked the universe to help me out with some clients if possible and some creepy guy calls me. Local number that looks like Central Bank or some medical office number was the only reason I answered it. Tells me he wants a massage and I explain that I have closed my office and only work from my home now. Sorry I don't know you and this is nothing against you, but for my personal safety I only accept word of mouth referrals for new clients. We end the call on a good note then like 5-10 minutes later he texts me and says we just talked on the phone "about a massage I literally like to get a massage from you what do I need to do to get a massage from you" I didn't answer it because I have taken down my websites, removed myself from every listing I could find, so there is no way he knew anything about my massage style, education or anything else that would make him want to see ME specifically. But what was he thinking by being pushy with his text after I said I was not going to see him? I guess I need to ask the universe to weed out the creepy dudes too.
Client: Maybe be more specific, huh? Remember the time you were pissed and a tornado hit Ex's
house?
Doing an outcall in an upstairs bedroom of an older home, I was remembering a time that I was doing a massage there and this voice hissed something akin to Harry Potter's Parseltongue thru my wifi speaker that creeped both, me and my client out. As I am remembering this my wifi speaker dropped signal and the music stopped. My client says "Remember that time...." I said "Um, yeah and I was just thinking about it when my speaker crapped out."
Me: Add OR to it. JuniOR. He'll never know he was Juni for six months.
I was talking about my Valentine's Day Facebook post with a client who is very active in creative writing. She says "So your first husband was a poet?".
Me: Oh nooooo. He didn't write deep meaningful poetry....but he could rhyme very well.
Me: Yeah, so I asked the universe to help me out with some clients if possible and some creepy guy calls me. Local number that looks like Central Bank or some medical office number was the only reason I answered it. Tells me he wants a massage and I explain that I have closed my office and only work from my home now. Sorry I don't know you and this is nothing against you, but for my personal safety I only accept word of mouth referrals for new clients. We end the call on a good note then like 5-10 minutes later he texts me and says we just talked on the phone "about a massage I literally like to get a massage from you what do I need to do to get a massage from you" I didn't answer it because I have taken down my websites, removed myself from every listing I could find, so there is no way he knew anything about my massage style, education or anything else that would make him want to see ME specifically. But what was he thinking by being pushy with his text after I said I was not going to see him? I guess I need to ask the universe to weed out the creepy dudes too.
Client: Maybe be more specific, huh? Remember the time you were pissed and a tornado hit Ex's
house?
Doing an outcall in an upstairs bedroom of an older home, I was remembering a time that I was doing a massage there and this voice hissed something akin to Harry Potter's Parseltongue thru my wifi speaker that creeped both, me and my client out. As I am remembering this my wifi speaker dropped signal and the music stopped. My client says "Remember that time...." I said "Um, yeah and I was just thinking about it when my speaker crapped out."
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Healing Hands
I found this quote about a week ago and it resonated with me.
Some clients that have been with me for more than a few years, would probably be able to tell about how my massage style has changed and morphed over the last 13 years. Like lots of fledgling massage therapists, in the early days I did deep tissue by steamrolling the shit out of everything knotty. I thought I had to hit every inch of the body in 60 minutes and that left little time for me to gradually soften tissue...so I muscled their knots into submission. This still happens occasionally, but I have learned to work deeper without wearing my body down now, and I am secure in telling clients that we will probably not get to the whole body in 60 minutes if they want me to really address problem areas.
So we have established that I have mad deep tissue techniques, to include the Atomic Elbow. I also do very gentle treatments: lymphatic drainage and craniosacral therapy. I have some knowledge of Thai massage as well, but if I tried to box my massage style up with just one word to describe it, it would be intuitive. I still ask clients what is going on in their bodies, but when I put my hands on their bodies, I get a more detailed report. I can feel lines of tension. I can feel how this knot is causing pain in another part of the body. I get a better idea of how I can help folks. And knowing the client's pain as something you have experienced in your own body gives you incredible insight into their pain management and treatment plan.
I have insight into middle-aged women and all our quirks with room temperatures and linens. I know the pain that hairdressers and dental technicians feel in their necks, arms and upper backs because I feel similarly after a long day of my work. Migraine pain and treatment? Check. IBS? Yep. Tennis elbow? Been there, massaged it.
A lifetime of my painful experiences brings a wealth of knowledge to my clients.
Compassion. Empathy. Support. Touch. Healing.
Friday, February 8, 2019
Cardinals
I copied this passage from CaliforniaPsychics.com. This is not an endorsement, nor is it a total condemnation. It's more of a "Oh, what a lovely thought!" Given that there are multiple mated pairs that hang out at my feeders...I like the thought that I am surrounded by my ancestors and spirits who watch out for me....but we all know I am weird like that. What do you guys think?
A Spiritual Messenger
The notion that cardinals are messengers of Spirit exists across many cultures and beliefs. As a result, many things have the designation of “cardinal.” They include cardinal colors, cardinal directions, and cardinal angels. A cardinal designation signifies importance.
The word cardinal comes from the Latin word cardo, meaning hinge or axis. Like a door’s hinge, the cardinal is the hinge on the doorway between Earth and Spirit. They carry messages back and forth.
Many myths and traditions surrounding the cardinal have to do with renewal, good health, happy relationships, monogamy, and protection. Looking at the life of a cardinal, it’s easy to see why it has so many good associations. For example, cardinals mate for life. Also, they are non-migratory birds so they remain in their immediate area all their lives, protecting their turf. And after the couple gives birth, both parents work together to assure the health, welfare, and security of their family unit.
If you believe that cardinals are messengers from Spirit, then the next time you see one who is insisting on getting your attention, ask yourself these questions: What or who were you thinking of at that moment? Did you ask for guidance from Spirit or ask for help finding the answer to an important question? Allow your cardinal sightings to bring you a feeling of peace. Know that Spirit is listening. Let red cardinal visits remind you that Spirit always guides and protects you. Above all, don’t forget to thank your cardinal friends and Spirit for their guidance.
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Moments With Cam
Recently I was playing cowboys with Cam, so naturally he costumed me properly with a hat, bandana and gun. He was dressed similarly...of course he had the boots, a holster and spurs.... so he was way cooler looking than Mimi was, but I was clearly the junior cowboy that day so he deserved the coolness. He has memorized lines from movies and Tombstone has some of the best cowboy lines, so he was totally in character as Curly Bill and re-enacting a scene from the movie, when he suddenly broke character and looked at me with his little index finger raised and said "He says sunnabitch, but I don't say sunnabitch, cause it's a bad word."
We all have different nicknames for Cam. Camboy and Camtater are two of the names I call him. So today when I called him Camtater, he answered me "Yes, Mimitater. (laughs hysterically at his own joke) I CALLED YOU MIMITATER!"
We also visited The Sword in the Stone. The movie was playing so Cam stuck one of his swords (It was a Deadpool sword so clearly it was not Excalibur worthy, but who am I to crush a kid?) into the couch cushions and pretended to try to pull his sword from the stone. When he couldn't I told him he must not have been pure of heart. As I am walking over to take a turn at pulling out the sword my son says "Pure of heart? Well you sure as hell aren't going to have any luck." Sarcasm is strong in my family.
My favorite moment was when Cam pulled my hand to rest on his cheek and said "You're beautiful."
We all have different nicknames for Cam. Camboy and Camtater are two of the names I call him. So today when I called him Camtater, he answered me "Yes, Mimitater. (laughs hysterically at his own joke) I CALLED YOU MIMITATER!"
We also visited The Sword in the Stone. The movie was playing so Cam stuck one of his swords (It was a Deadpool sword so clearly it was not Excalibur worthy, but who am I to crush a kid?) into the couch cushions and pretended to try to pull his sword from the stone. When he couldn't I told him he must not have been pure of heart. As I am walking over to take a turn at pulling out the sword my son says "Pure of heart? Well you sure as hell aren't going to have any luck." Sarcasm is strong in my family.
My favorite moment was when Cam pulled my hand to rest on his cheek and said "You're beautiful."
Monday, February 4, 2019
Signs
I worked yesterday, and then had to hit the grocery store, so we missed the chance for our walk and I was bound and determined to get Brutus his walk in the park today. I even told him that we would go and promised. So after my breakfast I decided to play a few games online. Brutus was ever so patient until he wasn't. He climbed up on the couch and pawed my arm. I patted the couch beside me and instead of curling up there like he normally does, he flopped down in my lap, blocking my iPad screen. I ruffled his fur and moved him to his spot beside me and told him we would go walk as soon as I finished the game I was playing. I won the level and advanced. I won that level and advanced. Or so I thought. The game crashed. I re-opened it and replayed my game....won again and the game crashed. This happened three times. I won, it crashed. I took it as a sign that the universe was telling me to take my sweet pup to the park....so I did.
I let Brutus off leash to run around as 99 times out of a 100 we are the only two in the park. I use the asphalt walking path around the baseball field and playground equipment so I don't have to get muddy or wet. Bru sniffs and pees on everything he comes into contact with, with reckless abandon. When we made the turn to pass thru a grove of trees, the trees creaked when the breeze picked up. I stood there, under the limbs, watching them sway and talk and let my cares go away with the breeze. Brutus got in on the act too, he ran around in circles and scratched off under the trees, barking and enjoying this moment as much as I did. This moment alone was worth the walk.
But there was more magic afoot. I heard a familiar sound when we got closer to the creek. The Quackydoodles are back! Thinking the groundhog was right about the signs of an early spring.
I let Brutus off leash to run around as 99 times out of a 100 we are the only two in the park. I use the asphalt walking path around the baseball field and playground equipment so I don't have to get muddy or wet. Bru sniffs and pees on everything he comes into contact with, with reckless abandon. When we made the turn to pass thru a grove of trees, the trees creaked when the breeze picked up. I stood there, under the limbs, watching them sway and talk and let my cares go away with the breeze. Brutus got in on the act too, he ran around in circles and scratched off under the trees, barking and enjoying this moment as much as I did. This moment alone was worth the walk.
But there was more magic afoot. I heard a familiar sound when we got closer to the creek. The Quackydoodles are back! Thinking the groundhog was right about the signs of an early spring.
Friday, February 1, 2019
Ancient
Do you have a vivid memory from your childhood that still creeps into your mind from time to time? Not necessarily a scary or traumatic event, but something you witnessed and knew, even at an early age, that this was something significant or important and it stayed with you? If you're like me you might have a whole library of these memories and living outside city limits, I got to witness loads of farm and nature events that city kids missed out on.
My neighborhood was adjacent to a large farm that had a pay lake for fishing-- luckily for me, they looked the other way for kids that lived nearby. I spent a lot of time around that lake, whether it was fishing, swinging on the homemade swings that allowed you to go higher than the dorky aluminum set in my backyard, or maybe just admiring nature, I was there on a lot of sunny days. When winter came along it was a great place to ride my sled too....or it was until I rode my sled across the lake and Papa Joe very angrily told me about the lake being a warm spring lake and how incredibly dangerous my insanely fun sleigh ride had been. The NO SLEDS at the lake rule came to pass.
So one summer day after I had raided my dad's change bowl, I walked down to the lake hoping to score a Snickers from the little store that sold bait, tackle and snacks. Hoping is the correct word. The clerk for this store was an older blind man. When he accidentally gave you a Butterfinger or Zagnut you just said "Thank you" and that was that. That day I got lucky in two ways. I got my Snickers and I got to see the ugliest, scariest fish I had ever seen in my 8 years of life.
There were concrete holding tanks near the store that occasionally had fish in them and this time there was a gar. Of course I didn't know what it was called then, I just knew it was creepy and odd and it was almost as long as the holding tank it was in. In fact, the fish was so big it couldn't turn around, so it just hovered there with that scary toothy grin. And I stood there for a long time totally enthralled with this fish, that was almost as big as I was. Some of the men would stop by and look at it on their way home and it seemed the general consensus was it was not worth the trouble to try and kill it and clean it for its meat. So to my delight the gar was kept alive in the holding tank for a long time. I visited it often and when I thought about him, the word ANCIENT always came to mind.
Sometime later when I learned about dinosaurs, I realized why I associated it with something ancient. Gar fossils are dated back to the late Jurassic age. This species of fish is 160ish million years old. I didn't understand the significance of the fish, when I was a little girl, but I am thankful that the kid I was, was curious enough and smart enough to realize I was seeing something unique. The adult Kim tries to impart this curiosity to my grandson now. We have marveled at fish, butterflies, birds, toadstools, flowers, etc. I hope he can look back at some of those moments and appreciate them later in his life, the way I appreciate those memories now.
My neighborhood was adjacent to a large farm that had a pay lake for fishing-- luckily for me, they looked the other way for kids that lived nearby. I spent a lot of time around that lake, whether it was fishing, swinging on the homemade swings that allowed you to go higher than the dorky aluminum set in my backyard, or maybe just admiring nature, I was there on a lot of sunny days. When winter came along it was a great place to ride my sled too....or it was until I rode my sled across the lake and Papa Joe very angrily told me about the lake being a warm spring lake and how incredibly dangerous my insanely fun sleigh ride had been. The NO SLEDS at the lake rule came to pass.
So one summer day after I had raided my dad's change bowl, I walked down to the lake hoping to score a Snickers from the little store that sold bait, tackle and snacks. Hoping is the correct word. The clerk for this store was an older blind man. When he accidentally gave you a Butterfinger or Zagnut you just said "Thank you" and that was that. That day I got lucky in two ways. I got my Snickers and I got to see the ugliest, scariest fish I had ever seen in my 8 years of life.
There were concrete holding tanks near the store that occasionally had fish in them and this time there was a gar. Of course I didn't know what it was called then, I just knew it was creepy and odd and it was almost as long as the holding tank it was in. In fact, the fish was so big it couldn't turn around, so it just hovered there with that scary toothy grin. And I stood there for a long time totally enthralled with this fish, that was almost as big as I was. Some of the men would stop by and look at it on their way home and it seemed the general consensus was it was not worth the trouble to try and kill it and clean it for its meat. So to my delight the gar was kept alive in the holding tank for a long time. I visited it often and when I thought about him, the word ANCIENT always came to mind.
Sometime later when I learned about dinosaurs, I realized why I associated it with something ancient. Gar fossils are dated back to the late Jurassic age. This species of fish is 160ish million years old. I didn't understand the significance of the fish, when I was a little girl, but I am thankful that the kid I was, was curious enough and smart enough to realize I was seeing something unique. The adult Kim tries to impart this curiosity to my grandson now. We have marveled at fish, butterflies, birds, toadstools, flowers, etc. I hope he can look back at some of those moments and appreciate them later in his life, the way I appreciate those memories now.
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Three Strikes You're Out
Date #3: Pros were: attractive, intelligent, nice conversationalist and would have been catnip for Kimmie in her 30's. The cons: he still held affection for his ex and he was fresh off spending the holidays with her, and he was actively seeking employment on the west coast, where he was originally from, so he wasn't sure how much longer he would be living in Kentucky. So, I knew going in that this was probably not going to work and suggested we could be friends. He agreed.
Date was movie (which was good), then pub afterward (also good).
Conversation was good, he was a history professor so it was really interesting talking about politics in the past and comparing them to current events, with someone who was passionate about it.
Hugged goodnight.
All good. I knew that I was not interested in dating him, but I had a relatively decent date with an intelligent man and possibly made a new friend.
Now for the rest of the story.
He texts me on the road and says it will be tight for him getting there by movie start time, could I buy the tickets and he can reimburse me? Sure. So I get to the theater and am in line to buy tickets when he walks in and cuts in front of me and says he will take care of it now. Sure. Then he buys ONE ticket. (Surprised and amused, but only internally) So I assumed this meant we were truly going to be just friends.... and I was totally okay with that. For me, it took the pressure off my feeling like a man might think he was paying for something later.
Date goes to restroom and when we walk up to the ticket taker, he claims he was never given a ticket. He pulls out a receipt from his wallet that shows he bought a ticket, but he said he was never issued a ticket.....and then he added "Only in Kentucky does stuff like this happen." Wow. That reminded me a lot of the last Californian I was involved with....ex-hubby. The ex had this air, like he was intellectually superior to just about everyone he met and this guy suddenly struck me the same way. In my mind I recalled seeing a young man pick up a piece of paper and lay it on the wall just outside the restroom area, so I wandered over and VOILA! I found the missing movie ticket. Girl saved the day without any fanfare.
After the movie he suggested we get a drink so I suggested the pub nearby and he followed me there. When the waitress asked for our order, Date went smug again. "Does your bartender know how to make an Irish Coffee?" Waitress says she is "pretty sure he can" and her answer made it clear she thought he was stupid for asking this. Date "No, can. he. REALLY. make one right?" Yeah, that was about all the Cali-smug I cared for that evening. Check comes and Date says "Wanna split it down the middle?" I pitched a $20 on the table and told him I would cover the tip too.
Date ends and although it wasn't a catastrophe, I think it went better than the last two so this was a slight improvement.....or so I thought.
Next morning I get a text:
Date: Mornin
Me: Good morning
Date: I want to get high and make love with you.
Me: Uh I am pretty sure we decided we were on the friendship path.
Date: It takes two to tango. (And I couldn't bring myself to add the dancing man and woman emojis he added to his text message
Me: True, but you can have sex by yourself.
Date: You don't want to? That wasn't the vibe I got last night....
Me: I am quite good over here all by myself, thanks.
I quit answering his text messages after this exchange and thankfully I have not heard back from him.
Next!
Date was movie (which was good), then pub afterward (also good).
Conversation was good, he was a history professor so it was really interesting talking about politics in the past and comparing them to current events, with someone who was passionate about it.
Hugged goodnight.
All good. I knew that I was not interested in dating him, but I had a relatively decent date with an intelligent man and possibly made a new friend.
Now for the rest of the story.
He texts me on the road and says it will be tight for him getting there by movie start time, could I buy the tickets and he can reimburse me? Sure. So I get to the theater and am in line to buy tickets when he walks in and cuts in front of me and says he will take care of it now. Sure. Then he buys ONE ticket. (Surprised and amused, but only internally) So I assumed this meant we were truly going to be just friends.... and I was totally okay with that. For me, it took the pressure off my feeling like a man might think he was paying for something later.
Date goes to restroom and when we walk up to the ticket taker, he claims he was never given a ticket. He pulls out a receipt from his wallet that shows he bought a ticket, but he said he was never issued a ticket.....and then he added "Only in Kentucky does stuff like this happen." Wow. That reminded me a lot of the last Californian I was involved with....ex-hubby. The ex had this air, like he was intellectually superior to just about everyone he met and this guy suddenly struck me the same way. In my mind I recalled seeing a young man pick up a piece of paper and lay it on the wall just outside the restroom area, so I wandered over and VOILA! I found the missing movie ticket. Girl saved the day without any fanfare.
After the movie he suggested we get a drink so I suggested the pub nearby and he followed me there. When the waitress asked for our order, Date went smug again. "Does your bartender know how to make an Irish Coffee?" Waitress says she is "pretty sure he can" and her answer made it clear she thought he was stupid for asking this. Date "No, can. he. REALLY. make one right?" Yeah, that was about all the Cali-smug I cared for that evening. Check comes and Date says "Wanna split it down the middle?" I pitched a $20 on the table and told him I would cover the tip too.
Date ends and although it wasn't a catastrophe, I think it went better than the last two so this was a slight improvement.....or so I thought.
Next morning I get a text:
Date: Mornin
Me: Good morning
Date: I want to get high and make love with you.
Me: Uh I am pretty sure we decided we were on the friendship path.
Date: It takes two to tango. (And I couldn't bring myself to add the dancing man and woman emojis he added to his text message
Me: True, but you can have sex by yourself.
Date: You don't want to? That wasn't the vibe I got last night....
Me: I am quite good over here all by myself, thanks.
I quit answering his text messages after this exchange and thankfully I have not heard back from him.
Next!
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