Speechless and Amused

When my kids were young and asked to do something that I really did not want to let them do, rather than having the kid have a meltdown when I said "No", I would always say "We'll see" and hope that they either would forget about it or eventually tire of asking and the crisis would be averted--without my ever uttering the word NO.  This worked for many years but then Nick got wise....

Nick was in elementary school when he asked to do something and when I answered "We'll see" he countered with "We'll see just means NO later!".  Wow. He was right and it left me speechless but amused that this little human was calling me out. I loved it.

Yesterday I got to witness the next generation of child psychology vs brilliant child when I went to dinner with Nick and his kids.  While Nick was tending to the baby, my grandson grabbed the salt shaker and decided to season his rice....a lot. When I told him to hold up on the salt, his Daddy quickly grabbed the shaker from his hand and this exchange went down:

Nick: You just ruined your rice.

Kid: No I didn't.

Nick: Yes. You. Did. You put too much salt on it. Go ahead and take a big bite of it and tell me what you think.

Kid: (Takes a huge bite of his rice, looks at his Daddy) Mmmmmmmm.

Speechless and amused.

That Was Hairy

To give you and idea of what kind of therapist/client relationship I have with this fellow, I offer exhibit A. Last Monday when he arrived for his weekly massage he found me under my kitchen sink battling a pipe that had broken off my sink. I yelled "Help, like I need a man kinda help! Help!" and he dashed into my kitchen and helped me patch up my sink....before he got his massage. I could list an entire alphabet of exhibits and still not be able to cover all of the funny and/or amazing things I have shared with this man over the last twelve years. Yes, I have worked with this client since 2006. So before y'all go overboard with client boundaries.... He has been a WEEKLY client of mine for TWELVE years. I have worked on his wife, children, in laws, personal trainer, employees.... I am somewhat involved with a lot of people in his life, by his design, so our therapist/client relationship is unique. He knows my family and he brings my animals treats. We cross refer clients. And we are friends. Unique. So I wanted to share our history before I shared this funny story....otherwise y'all might think I was an asshole...or a bigger asshole.

My client wears a toupee, but not during his massage. In fact for many months I did not know he wore a toupee because he was bald every time he came for a massage and I only learned of the toupee when I saw him at HIS office.  Sometime later I noticed he would take it off and leave it in his car before he came into my office. But tonight he came zipping in the front door, obviously rushed and frazzled WITH his toupee on. After passing out treats to the critters he realized what he had done and said "Ah hell I wore this thing in here" and he popped it off and laid it upside down on my dining room table....... And neither one of us thought this was weird.

Fast forward 90 minutes.

He came out of the treatment room to pay and reschedule next week's time. Brutus started begging for more treats and Oni was suspiciously absent. My client told me she was under the table and when he bent down to pet her (Imagine my look of horror face) he found his toupee.  "OMG PLEASE TELL ME SHE DIDN'T DAMAGE IT!?"  After a close inspection he chuckled and said it was "all good" and then he added "Lordy if she had torn that up...."  I said "I would have been broke trying to pay for your hair!" We both had a good laugh.

Unique.

We Hunt Squirrels Around Here

Brutus is a very smart little dog who needs lots of activity and stimulation to continue being a smart AND happy little dog. So we work on commands and tricks regularly, we play tug and fetch, but his favorite thing in the world is to hunt squirrels, so at least a couple dozen times each day we hunt squirrels. Now mind you Bru wouldn't know what to do with a squirrel if he ever caught one, but he "protects" the house from these evil bushy-tailed rats by chasing them off our porch and back up into the trees nearby. Every time I say "I see a squirrel!" Brutus runs to the sliders and waits to pounce out the door and send the vile interlopers back to the fiery chasm from whence they came....or at least the neighbor's yard. Each time I praise him for being so brave and thank him for protecting us, so he has welcomed this hunter/protector role and struts back in the house with great pride and swagger.

Usually once or twice daily we venture out in the backyard for the best squirrel hunting. Bru walks beside me, slowly creeping like the cunning hunter he is--his version of stealth mode. When we reach the side of the house I yell "GO GET EM!" and Brutus runs at lightning speed into the backyard, barks like a lunatic and races around looking for squirrels. When I praise him for scaring them all off he prances back into the house with me. Job well done in his estimation.

Recently Brutus took our hunting to a new level. I had made too much pasta and threw the excess noodles in the backyard for critters to have a snack. About an hour passed and Bru and I went out for a potty break/squirrel hunt.  When we rounded the corner there was four squirrels eating the pasta I tossed out. Brutus promptly chased them all up into the trees and did a few loops around the yard just to make sure he had his perimeter secured.  I praised him and thought he was coming back to walk with me....he had other ideas. Brutus walked back to the pile of noodles and took a big dump right in the noodles. It was like he said "How ya like those meatballs? And stay out of my yard!"

Selfies and Memes and Hypocrites

Oh my!

I've seen some memes making fun of people who doctor their selfies so they look amazing on Instagram. Sure, I chuckle at them too because some of them are ridiculously artificial. But when you look at things thru the cosmic wormhole of truth you see this a bit differently. I'm beginning to think that meme I posted this week about how being unfriended on Facebook was magical... might have been an omen.
Buckle up buttercup it's one of those posts.

Whisper: Kim's writing flow was just interrupted when a branch fell out of the tree in her front yard and her goofy dog lost his mind doing the squirrel twirl and bark dance because he was convinced there was a squirrel out there with his name on it.  There was no squirrel. There was however a strong-willed dog that refused to come back in for several minutes who was cursed and sent to the Podium of Shame. (Cat scratch post but basically Time Out or Ugly Chair for Brutus)

So about those false advertisers.... If you can make yourself look better, why not do it? Don't we get ourselves put together in front of mirrors so we can present our best self? Or maybe not our absolute best but certainly an attempt at not looking like a homicidal maniac; I hope. So we try to project the image that we want others to see....but then again so did Ted Bundy....hmmm.   Here comes a bitchy moment...or bitchier moment.   I have no problem with a chubby girl only posting selfies of her face, because hey--Been There, Done That. I don't have a problem with photo-shopping your selfie so you don't look like you went to the same spray tan joint as Trump. BTDT too. I have a problem with the folks who put up these goody two shoes family pics and religious or inspirational quotes and then post racist remarks online on a regular basis. That is the phony that I take exception to.  Cowards. Cowards who hide online and under sheets because they don't want anyone to see their uglier side, their truth. I also take exception to the folks who post pictures of their families, looking like a Norman Rockwell sprung to life, who backbite and lie about family members and friends at every opportunity. Spin doctors. We all look so wholesome, but don't turn your back to us....

Same with memes. If you scroll back through one of your online social media accounts, I would imagine you will find some quotes or memes that you posted that really resonate with you.  Maybe you post funny stuff, or maybe inspirational quotes, or maybe you post things that you hope are pleasing to others who might follow you online. These are also part of the persona that you are trying to project and deep down we all want to be liked. I post memes regularly and I think they give you a pretty good idea of who I am and what I think. Most of my thoughts are sarcastic but I hope they come across in a positive and maybe hippie dippie, comical light? Best foot forward and all. I only wish I felt the same about some online friends that I did prior to getting a glimpse into their meme truths. Here comes some more bitchy moments. I don't mind you showing support for your political candidate or party. Who you vote for is your right, same as mine. I can tell you that I will never support a racist, sexist, bully who lies like most people breathe but if that's your guy--so be it. I would never tell you not to vote for your guy and I would love to think you would respond in kind. But when you spread lies and misinformation without researching your "funny" but not really funny quote and you LOL when the president makes threats against reporters, you and I have a problem.
I do mind reading your uneducated, uninformed, insulting memes about the party that you are not aligned with and I mind you laughing about threatening or demeaning memes against a political group or group of individuals that you do not identify with or support. I don't mind when you post religious material in between your burst of political ads, but I do mind when you make fun or denigrate others who may not believe the same things that you do.....not very Christ-like imho.  And last point on religion and politics.  If you believe and practice Christianity, how can you square up a liar, adulterer and all around villain being a moral compass for our country? If your answer is "but the economy is doing really well" I say shameful trade of your soul for the top 1% to get tax breaks.
Heads up!  If you do this on a consistent basis, there is a pretty good chance I have you blocked so I do not get bombarded in your negativity.

But here's the thing. That elegantly crafted online persona that you work so hard to maintain, can be the real you. If you espouse to being a little ray of sunshine who champions great causes, YOU CAN BE. You can be an ambassador of good will and encouraging words....just like that meme you posted. But on the other hand, if all you post is snarky, bitchy quotes, you can be that person too. If you go to church on Sunday and replenish your soul, post that instead of the lies about the "caravan". Be Christ-like. Don't fall for the hate and negativity. Don't be a hypocrite.  I choose to be honest and positive about most things in my life and I hope that my online and in life personna reflects this. I choose to put my best self out in the universe and hopefully I succeed more than I fail. So today I am posting my 54 year old, untouched/unedited selfie to say THIS. IS. ME. UNFILTERED.

PS Brutus lasted about 5 minutes in his time out.

Hippie Vibes

Today I had a new client. He was from the Pacific Northwest and was in town helping a friend with some very physical labor that involved chunks of limestone, heavy equipment and shovels. His friend is a regular client of mine and paid for him to visit me as a way of saying thank you for his hard work. So imagine granite....then imagine granite meets earthy, brainy dude and you might get a glimpse of my visitor.

After a brief introduction, he took his shoes off before walking thru my living room. He pet my dog and talked to him the way I do and walked slowly toward my treatment room, smiling and chatting all the way.  During the intake interview it was obvious that he was health-conscious, physically fit and  very in tune with his body. The other thing I noticed? He had great energy and I wasn't the only one who noticed. The critters liked him right away too.

The massage ranged from his initiating deep breathing exercises to relax and get in a good massage place, to his nodding off, but there was also some pretty interesting conversations in between.

Like he knew a lot about massage and had traded treatments with a massage therapist at one time in his life. He said she had taught him and he mimicked her style.  And then he said it.....he liked to work intuitively and feel energies when he gives massage. He was speaking my language!

We shared stories about our offspring and my grandchildren and then there was this sweet story about the chameleon tattoo on his forearm. I asked if the tattoo had a significant meaning for him and he was good enough to share its story. His daughter is 24 and she drew the chameleon. Then for a father/daughter bonding thing, they both got her chameleon design tattooed on themselves, but she went with only black and he went with colors. I loved this story and told him so.

So after he came out of the treatment room and told me that he felt put together again, he hugged me. And y'all know how I feel about getting hugged. But instead of my awkward and stiff hug, I actually really hugged him back....and it didn't feel quite as awkward as I thought it would. lol   In any case, when he bent down to put his shoes on he started laughing and when he stood up he was holding one of my cat's toy mice.  Oni had left her mousie in his shoe.  Told ya!  Good energy. Good vibes.

Resting Bitch Face

I have resting bitch face. What started out as a look of concentration in my childhood, became a furrowed brow in my adulthood. My grandmother used to tell me I was going to have the biggest wrinkle on my forehead....and as usual she was right.

Wrinkles are just timelines on a person. I will not pretend to like them, but I don't hate them either. They are markers of a sort. Age. With age, hopefully comes wisdom. Crows feet? I do not have any of those--mine are called laugh lines. Teeth grinding and tight lips leave creases along my mouth and nose. The #11 that is right between my eyebrows can be a result of stress, lack of sleep, worry, motherhood, but mostly it's resting bitch face.

If people ask you what is wrong or if something is bothering you when you are simply deep in thought or maybe you're just having a lovely daydream when someone asks if you are unwell, you may have resting bitch face too. The downside of this is that people avoid me sometimes because they think I am too intense or a bit intimidating. The upside of this is people avoid me sometimes because they think I am too intense or intimidating. 😉  But as I have reached my fifties and my wrinkles are more pronounced, my resting bitch face has become a bit scarier. When I started deleting selfies because I saw a haggard old woman instead of a somewhat saucy hippie looking back at me, I knew it was time to start fighting back.

Besides really investing in my skincare and getting regular facials, I have been doing self massage to combat this horrible affliction.  I have a rose quartz butterfly stone that I use to promote lymph drainage, an eye rejuvenator/micro-current to fight baggy eyes, and I hydrate my face and neck twice daily, but my newest trick is intra-oral massage. This massage is done inside the mouth and is one way to combat tmj issues and headaches without using medications. The bonus of this massage is that you can treat the muscles used for mimicking and making facial expressions....the ones that are not so attractive in resting bitch face kind of incidents. This is just the second week of my new therapy so I will let you know if I can see results, I can tell you that my face feels much more relaxed after the massage and there is good blood flow so those signs are encouraging.  If you are interested in trying it in a massage session, I promise to wear rubber gloves. lol

Look Up In The Sky!

Heard This Week on the Massage Table

My ten year old client told me she was going to close her eyes but not go to sleep. She barely got the words out before her snoring began.

An older gentleman that I have worked with for 12 years now has slowly but surely came to be one of my trusted advisors on all things--and I do mean all things.  When he wants to advise me but is not sure how I will react he always says "If you ask me my opinion, I will tell you what I think." So he is concerned about me being single now and likes to ask me what I have done since he saw me last. Nine times out of ten I tell him I sat on the sofa and binge watched something to rot my brain. Last visit, after I tell him my boring life details he says "I keep coming in here every week and hoping that you will tell me you got wild and went out and did something exciting. Can you work on that please?"

"You have a gun....in your dining room." Reaction to seeing my pretty pink bb gun.

One of my trade buddies and I have been experimenting with intra-oral massage. The idea is that if you release all the mimic muscles, the muscles that allow us to make expressions, you get a natural facelift. It is also effective for TMJ and headache relief. Last week when we traded she told me that she thought she had been too aggressive with her jaws and had pain that referred to the top of her head. So I started palpating around the muscles that she thought she had injured, but was unable to find anything out of the ordinary. When I felt the top of her head I found a huge bump. I told her that it felt more like she had knocked her brains loose on something rather than her facial massage. She immediately started laughing and said "Oh my god! I forgot that I hit my head on an open cabinet door the other day! Let's go with your findings, it's so much better than me hurting myself."

Why I Believe Her

I watched the SCOTUS hearings yesterday and felt like I needed to write, not because I think this SCOTUS decision is a pivotal moment in the history of our rapidly changing government, and surely another step in the direction of corrupting the judicial branch, but because I felt very raw and very restless after listening to both Ford and Kavanaugh. Raw and violated. I realized that I had felt this way before....when I was assaulted. 

I was not sexually assaulted, but I was physically assaulted and mentally abused. He was a police officer and his family was well-known and respected. He was a pretty likable, witty guy until he drank alcohol and then he was Jekyll and Hyde personified. At first he would just press his body against mine and keep me from leaving the room. Screaming an inch from my face, reeking of alcohol and cigarettes, he taunted me and held me against my will. I am not a passive flower so I fought back. I am not proud of my actions but at some point I could not take anymore abuse and I would come out swinging to get away from him. Sometimes he let me go and other times he continued berating me or destroying things in the house to make me hurt more. This continued until he passed out.  He was always so sorry afterward and would swear he would give up drinking and sometimes he would go months without drinking, but he never really quit and he would never admit he was an alcoholic...because he was not a daily drinker, he only "binged" occasionally. We were married 16 years when I finally decided to divorce him.

The divorce pushed him over the edge and he drank more to numb the pain. He began stalking me. He showed up at my apartment and was caught peeping thru my windows. He showed up at my workplace and watched me work. When he showed up at my place in full uniform, heavily under the influence of alcohol and busted beer bottles in my living room, I called the chief of his police department and reported the incident. Nothing happened to him. I moved to a new house. He broke into my new home, called me at work, from my home phone to tell me he was in my house and it was obvious that he was intoxicated. I called the police department and reported the break in and the vandalism (he smashed my phone to pieces). When the cops arrived he was drunk, sitting on my front porch swing. Instead of arresting him, they drove him home. I had his vehicle towed, the police released it to him without charging him an impound fee. They said he was not in my house when they arrived so they could not charge him with breaking and entering.

There were many more incidents but the final straw was when he would not let me get in my car to leave after an argument over his drinking. I smashed a bottle of whiskey in the driveway in an effort to keep him from drinking anymore that night. He grabbed me by my hair, slung me onto the hood of his police cruiser, injured my shoulder and back....and I lost some hair. Again I called the police to respond for domestic violence, and while I was on the phone with the 911 center, he threw a pair of scissors so hard that they stuck in a kitchen cabinet door. He was gripping the scissors so tightly that he cut his hand and bled on the kitchen floor. When the police officers showed up he claimed he had dropped the whiskey bottle and cut his hand, I was a crazy lying bitch and I refused to leave when he asked me. When I told the sergeant the truth and offered to show him the blood splatters on the kitchen floor, he told me that it was a he said/she said situation and if I insisted on them arresting my husband, then I would probably be arrested for domestic violence as well. I told him to arrest me and I would polygraph my way out of this mess, but he would not get away with covering up for his brother in blue anymore. Rather than arrest him, we were both issued domestic violence orders and  referred to district court. I was allowed to get in my car and leave. He was allowed to scream obscenities while I did so.

That night I decided I would need to fight back with a vengeance. I drove to the 911 center, a center that I supervised for several years, and asked to come in to call the police chief from one of the recorded phone lines. A former employee bent the rules and allowed me to have access to the restricted communications area. I called the police chief and told him what had happened that night. I told him of several other times that I had reported his employee's drunken, abusive behavior and I told him how each time that he and his officers had covered his messes up and never penalized him. When the chief started to give me the run around I told him that he should be aware that I was in the 911 center, on a recorded phone line, and if he failed to act this time I would have a recording of our conversation that I would be sharing with my attorney. This time my ex was disciplined....two weeks suspension WITH pay. We both were issued domestic violence orders but no more incidents occurred. My abuse was finally over.


So yesterday when Kavanaugh launched into his opening statement, yelling, crying and claiming how he had been victimized.....I saw my alcoholic ex.  When the judiciary committee apologized to him and told him what a quality judge he was.....I saw my ex and his fellow police officers covering for him. When I saw Ford's emotional testimony, I related to her....I saw myself.  I felt violated, angry, hurt and raw all over again. 

Then I heard good people saying that there is no way someone would wait so long to tell their story if they were traumatized, that it was merely a political stunt. I wanted to scream and ask them how the hell would they know unless they had lived thru something that horrific and could speak from personal experience. Telling authorities is not a guarantee that you will be believed, assisted, protected or cleared from suspicion. Telling your own sordid life story is hard. Nobody wants to talk about hurtful and demeaning events in their lives. Nobody wants to admit they placed their faith in the wrong hands. Nobody wants to admit they stayed in an abusive relationship or kept secrets about being abused.

I lived thru the nightmare of accusing a law enforcement officer of being abusive. My ex was hired and promoted for over 10 years before his corruption caught up with him....so to claim the background check would have found out about Kav's abuse is bullshit.  The "friends" who wrote letters on his behalf....the brotherhood is taking care of their own.  Ford's memory lapses....the mind compartmentalizes to protect you. I know how the system works and it is not always easy nor favorable for the victim. Coming forward takes courage. Speaking up is hard. Who would use an abuse claim to make headlines for themselves?

 Ford is courageous and I believe her.

A Little of This A Little of That

So right now I am taking a moment to share what kinda crazy few days I have been through...and eat a big ass chocolate doughnut, because right now is not one of the good moments I will discuss later. Right now my friggin basement is flooded AGAIN. I just did 3 hours of massage and had some really amazing results, was feeling jazzed, and then the monsoon hit. When the heavy rain started, I began preparing for this probable event by moving rugs and furniture away from the flood zone. Sadly it still wasn't enough to keep the water away from my rugs completely. So I drug the rugs to dry land and then I shopvac'd 25 gallons of water out of the basement and began washing towels and rugs. To say my 54 year old body is exhausted is an understatement. Did I mention that I did 6.5 hours of massage yesterday? Understatement. Not loving Mother Nature right now.....

....but I still found time to admire her handywork.

She's like me, short and chubby but cute.

And you knew I had a few of the Moon....

I love the glow, the rings and aura.

Also my stint on jury duty was fabulous. Last week I scheduled less massage appointments, on the off chance that I would be required to report for jury duty. Luckily I only had to report one day last week and only had to reschedule one client. This week is my final week on jury duty.  It also happens to be the week before I leave for vacation. I am booked solid with a waiting list and really need to work this week since there will be no pay when I am at the beach next week. So I really needed to not be called for jury duty this week. I was constantly looking at my schedule and fretting about the possibilities. Then I asked the universe to help me. I asked to be free of this burden. I asked to not serve on jury duty if at all possible. If I did have to serve to please help me keep my clients on their scheduled appointments because I had no place to move them due to my vacation.

So Friday, when I reported for my first day of jury duty, the judge informed us that we had been part of an odd juror cycle, in that the judges all had a three-day convention of some sort that had kept them from having trials that week. She also said that it was looking like we would not be needed at all next week either, but that we should check in daily to confirm that. So Sunday night I called the juror notification line and found out that jurors were not needed this week and that my service was complete. Thank you for your service!

Locked Out

(Kim’s backstory for context) I hope you read that like a whispering narrator...because that is how I just heard it in my head. Yes, it is one of *those* kind of posts.

My ex and I never locked any doors at our house, our office was like Fort Knox, but our house was wide open for anybody. After 17 years of living without locks, it was my routine....until I became a single woman again. I was so paranoid about someone being able to lie in wait for me, in my unlocked house, that I began locking my doors, windows, deadbolts, added two security lights with motion sensors, invested in more window treatments, and applied a brace for my sliding glass doors. I feel much safer now so please let me remain under this delusion.

The brace for the sliders is what has gotten me locked outside on my deck twice now. The first time Oni hit it just right to drop it into the door tracks and lock me out. My neighbor has a spare key and was good enough to rescue me. Today I forgot about that stinking brace and locked myself and Oni on the deck again. Luckily I was locked out with the essentials...a cell, good book and some adult party favors. Hummingbirds also kept me company. So here is my being bored on my deck and waiting for my rescuer to arrive:

Perfect Day Off

This morning I got a new sassy haircut from my good friend who owns a salon. Yes, lucky me! I have a friend who does hair, massage and skincare and we swap services on a twice monthly basis.  This picture was taken after many games of cornhole so trust me when I say it looked amazing earlier today.

I went to lunch at Taco Tico. Guilty pleasure that I love love love to indulge.

I played cornhole with friends and didn't suck.

I saw an osprey flying overhead with a fish in its talons.

I took some awesome photos of Sister Moon.

Chef No

Last week I found a recipe online for pumpkin cream-puffs and it sounded amazing, but so out of my baking comfort zone, I immediately thought of my step-mom, Nancy. She is an AMAZING baker! So when we went to lunch and I begin telling her about the recipe she asked me if they were good. I explained that I had not tried them yet. She then asked me if I had tried to make them. Now for any of y'all that know me, you know I have a very limited skill set in the kitchen. So as soon as Nancy asked if I had tried to bake them, both my dad and I exploded into laughter. I looked at Nancy and said "Aww, thanks for thinking I could actually do it! Truth is I actually had to dust my stove off this week....been a while since I used it."

Also this week I was really craving some milk to go with my pastry. I looked at the date on my half gallon of milk and it said best used by AUGUST 13. To say I have been eating out a lot might still be an understatement.

Marvelous Night For a Moon Shoot

 I love shooting the moon thru trees in my yard. This reminds me of ancient puppet theater.

And maybe it's because my daughter-in-law is very pregnant, but I see a pregnant belly being hugged.

Show Me a Fridge Door

.....and I will show you a glimpse into the  homeowner's heart. I love to wander into kitchens and see family photos, kid's artwork, food menus, magnets..... You really do get a sense of the person who decorates the fridge. I know this is not just a chick thing because I have some men friends who have adornments on their beer and snack fridges. So here is a look at my very fingerprint-covered, dirty fridge door and I hope you guys will share some photos or tell me what's on your heart door.

Star Wars

In case you missed it I AM A HUGE STAR WARS FAN. Today's hashtag theme on Twitter was Facebook posts by Darth Vader and the twitterverse did not disappoint.

How to pick up chicks at the grocery store

Baby on Board

Last year a friend suggested that I journal to give myself more insight into my feelings about my divorce and family problems, and to just record some of the stuff I was dealing with or contemplating at that particular time.  I made it about 5 months and decided it was more fun to blog. But of course this is true since my blog is mostly light-hearted and positive....mostly being the key word here. The journal was started when I was going thru a really hard time so a lot of my posts are full of sadness, rage, loneliness, and worry--not so much fun to write about.



Last night I was gathering up some notebooks for a friend and I came across my journal. I read it from front to back and let the emotions wash over me. Good times, sad times, angry times, hurt feelings, happiness and naturally some of my weirdness and warped sense of humor. But one entry was a little more magical than some of the others.

On 11-8-17 my journal entry said that I was having very vivid dreams and for a change I was actually remembering them.  I had written about a dream that I had the night before.  In my dream I saw my son and his wife standing in front of a full moon and the moon had a gold ring around it. I wondered if this was an omen that they were expecting again.

Now flash forward------>Nick and Sarah are expecting and the baby is due on 9-6-18.

Political Attack Ads

I HATE HATE HATE the ads where politicians try to smear their opponents and this latest one from Andy Barr has me stewing right now.

I have supported Barr in the past and his office was helpful in getting my passport expedited when I was on a deadline to leave the country and the post office mishandled my application/renewal. His office also helped me with an issue dealing with my health insurance. So when I say that I supported him, I felt like I was supported in return.... Lifelong Democrat who voted for a Republican and felt just fine about it. I have been on his email list for several years and I read it but it rarely interests me.

So today I decided to unsubscribe from Mr. Barr's newsletter. Why? Because of the nasty campaign ads he is running against Amy McGrath.  Amy was a Marine fighter pilot. She has led a life of service, just like Andy. She has ties to our community, just like Andy. She has a nice family, just like Andy...and now her family gets to hear these ugly insinuations thanks to his campaign ads. 
Shameful.

Even more shameful? He infers that she was off nefariously campaigning in other states. The horror!  And according to Andy, she was with other women we should be wary of. "Massachusetts, ELIZABETH WARREN LIVES THERE. San Francisco, NANCY PELOSI IS THERE, COINCIDENCE? Why Amy is even hanging out with Hollywood ELITES LIKE CHELSEA HANDLER".

So am I  missing something here or did Andy Barr just fucking blame all that is wrong in this state, and by association--the country..... on WOMEN? He suggests from the East Coast to the West Coast, and apparently everywhere in between that we evil women are not to be trusted. And please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, but I am pretty sure the percentage of women in politics is a lot lower than the percentage of men that make up our government, which leads me to believe that maybe there should have been a man or two tossed in for Andy to hate on by sheer volume..... but not ONE SINGLE MALE POLITICIAN was mentioned in this ad.....other than Andy's endorsement of his ugly ad. So today when I emailed him and unsubscribed, I told him his ads were disgraceful, he was not a nice person and a sexist pig who would not be getting my vote ever again.

So ladies, why don't we teach the politicians that women votes matter? Get out and speak up or roll over and let old, rich white men make decisions about our bodies and livelihood. I am not rolling over.

Compliments

Yesterday I actually took some time and styled my hair with the umpteen products and tools to make a big sexy curly do. I also got a mani with an interesting grayish color the day before. Two women, in less than 10 minutes, complimented me on my hair and nails.  I heartily thanked them both. Then later when I was rethinking over my day, I thought how extraordinary it was that two complete strangers went out of their way to let me know they liked my style. This thought went down the cosmic wormhole of truth.

Why does society think it is okay for a woman to say "Wow your hair looks great!" to another woman and it is normal and not weird at all, but men doing the same is thought to be somehow awkward? We gals throw compliments on hair, clothes, weight, communication skills, brains, etc  (Well, some of us do....and if you're not, you are really missing out on some good karma.) So why is it odd for a guy to tell another guy that his suit is awesome or his new haircut looks good? Better still, how do we change male compliments from the rare oddity to normal?

I absolutely love paying compliments to people, but especially women who seem like they could really use a few kind words right about then. I tell people they are great at their jobs.  I thank people and tell them how much I appreciate their courteous manners and hard work. I tell someone when a color looks great on them.  I praise people for being considerate and professional. You have a great smile! Your baby is beautiful, Mom. Gorgeous jewelry! This is normal for me. I do it because I know how much better my day is whenever somebody acknowledges me, even in some insignificant way. I like to give that positive vibe to others and the reward is I feel better twofold.

When someone compliments us, why are we conditioned to shrug it off? Is it a southern thing? Are we supposed to always seem humble?  For years that was my way of handling compliments. I acted embarrassed when somebody praised me.  No more.  I show my delight now. "AWWW THANK YOU!"  This is normal. This is healthy. Thank someone and let them know you are sincerely moved by their kindness.  If you are 3 kinds of special at that moment in time, revel in it and accept your well-deserved recognition. Stay humble by not gloating but accept your glory.

I challenge you to perform three random acts of kindness tomorrow. See how kindness and appreciation can really make someone's day.  See how great you feel in return.  If you feel like sharing your efforts I would love to hear from you.

The Patriot

Hate on me if you want, but I can still appreciate Mel Gibson's movies. I love Braveheart, Tequila Sunrise, and Apocalypto, but today we are discussing The Patriot, another favorite of mine. There is so much about this movie that I love.... and I watched it again this weekend.

I love how they delve into family complexities.  How a father of 7 is opposed to the war because he fears for his family and he remembers all too well his own experiences in war. Two sons desperately want to fight in the war, but have no idea what horrors they will be facing. Psychological issues with a child separated from her father who is away at war. Children being required to kill British soldiers and accept what they did was necessary. Two cutesy romances. Death.

Then you get war strategy, battles and the horrible aftermath. An amazing forest ambush/rescue scene. Some comic relief-- more often at the Brits expense. Racism. Slavery. You also get a happy ending. But it's the little things that are totally insignificant to the plot line that I like the most.

1. Ben seeing his first rocking chair. How he marvels at it as he rocks. He studies how it was crafted. You can see his delight.
2. "If I die today, I will die well dressed."
3. "The French."
4. Ben melting his dead son's miniature soldiers down and making them into bullets. What most people probably see is vengeance and him coping with his grief. I see something else. I see a man who putting his intention into these bullets. He is seeing his enemy and weaving his magic. He sees his son being avenged and he sets out to a destiny he created.

Kimmie's Got a Gun

Let me start by saying I LOVE animals.... I also like peace and harmony.  Currently there is a posse of squirrels that have been attacking my yard.  By attacking I mean they are ripping out flowers in the pots on my deck, they are raiding my bird feeders, and they are drinking the hummingbird nectar from my feeders.  Now factor in my neighbor's walnut tree and you get an idea of what I am dealing with on a daily basis.  The vermin eat walnuts all day and then they show up for a drink of that delicious sweet water, all of which is annoying, but when they broke two hummingbird feeders, I knew they had to go.

So I bought myself a pretty pink bb gun. This is the cheapo, one-pump rifle model so there is no danger of killing them, I just wanted it for stinging them off my trees, deck, feeders, etc.  Most of the time I just aim in their general direction and the noise of the bb usually scares them off. Occasionally I get the very brave or very stupid squirrel who sits and basically dares me to shoot at him. (They are all males in my eyes. Judge me if you like). In fact, one will chitter at me when I get between him and the hummingbird feeders. Today I had one of THOSE squirrels.

He had scampered away and was up fairly high in the tree.  He seemed to be sure I was no threat so he was feasting on walnuts with great delight. It took me three shots but when I hit the lil bugger he spit his walnut out. I impressed myself so I had to share. Please don't  report me to PETA for being mean to bushy-tailed rats.

Rainy Day Tuesday

.....always makes me smile. I love taking pictures of flowers right after a gentle rain. The colors are richer and the flowers truly shine.

Hummers

When you excitedly tell your friend that you have been watching hummers on your back deck all day, sometimes you have to clarify.

The birds and the bees......

Mansplaining

According to Merriam-Webster, Mansplain definition is - to explain something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic.
As you can imagine, this is something I am not unfamiliar with.  

Example: This summer I had to get a new exhaust system....three times. When I took my car back the first time I told the mechanic it sounded like something was loose, maybe not bracketed down. Five minutes later he proclaimed it was a defective muffler and he would happily replace it.  Two weeks later when my car started making the same noises I returned to the garage and this time the guy looks at me and says "Well... the chances of you getting two defective mufflers is.. slim."  I lean back looking him in the eye and tell him "Ya know what? I came to that same conclusion.  Which leads us back to I don't think you guys installed this properly.... either time."

Flash forward to next mansplaining with a quick back story.  I have a dead tree in my backyard that is scheduled to be cut down in about 10 days.  It was supposed to have happened 9 days ago but the storms that wiped out power all over town made my tree a low priority, understandably.  So imagine my surprise a couple of weeks ago when, on a perfectly sunny day while I was chilling on my back deck, a huge limb fell out of my neighbor's walnut tree and ripped the internet line from the side of my house.  I had KU and Spectrum out to clear the limbs and re-run the line to my house.  So to recap, I have a dead oak tree with zero leaves and dead limbs hanging by a thread and my neighbor has a very green, healthy walnut tree.  Healthy tree is losing limbs, creating chaos. Dead tree is just standing there.

So I am telling my son about the tree incident and he says "How do you know is was his tree and not your dead tree that dropped the limbs?" 

(Blinks. Look at him wondering how this was my spawn)   "Because the limb was covered in GREEN LEAVES and walnuts......and I was sitting on the deck and WATCHED. IT. HAPPEN."

So today I finally get a chance to speak to the guy who owns the house next door to me. I am telling him the story about HIS tree and informed him that I have a tree service coming to address my dead tree, would he like to have them address HIS tree the same day?  Dude, swear to God, looks at me and says "That tree is healthy, no need to do anything to it is there? I mean, do YOU see any dead limbs on it?"
 
(Blinks. Sigh.)  "It's not dead (Moron), you're right (I was amazed too). It's full of walnuts that are weighing down the healthy branches and causing them to snap off. It has pulled my lines down.... SO the tree service will be here on the 9th to work on my dead tree and they will be cutting off anything of yours (and I do mean anything) that is hanging over my fence."