Heard This Week on the Massage Table

One of my older ladies could pass for the patron saint for cats. She is always rescuing animals and taking them to her local vet. This week, as she chuckled, she told me that she had taken Juni to the vet to be spayed. Vet calls her and says he can't spay Juni because Juni, as it turns out, is a male cat. She tells me she is going to have to give her kitty a new name.

Me: Add OR to it. JuniOR. He'll never know he was Juni for six months.




I was talking about my Valentine's Day Facebook post with a client who is very active in creative writing. She says "So your first husband was a poet?". 

Me:  Oh nooooo. He didn't write deep meaningful poetry....but he could rhyme very well.






Me:  Yeah, so I asked the universe to help me out with some clients if possible and some creepy guy calls me. Local number that looks like Central Bank or some medical office number was the only reason I answered it. Tells me he wants a massage and I explain that I have closed my office and only work from my home now. Sorry I don't know you and this is nothing against you, but for my personal safety I only accept word of mouth referrals for new clients. We end the call on a good note then like 5-10 minutes later he texts me and says we just talked on the phone "about a massage I literally like to get a massage from you what do I need to do to get a massage from you"  I didn't answer it because I have taken down my websites, removed myself from every listing I could find, so there is no way he knew anything about my massage style, education or anything else that would make him want to see ME specifically.  But what was he thinking by being pushy with his text after I said I was not going to see him? I guess I need to ask the universe to weed out the creepy dudes too.

Client: Maybe be more specific, huh?  Remember the time you were pissed and a tornado hit Ex's
house?





Doing an outcall in an upstairs bedroom of an older home, I was remembering a time that I was doing a massage there and this voice hissed something akin to Harry Potter's Parseltongue thru my wifi speaker that creeped both, me and my client out. As I am remembering this my wifi speaker dropped signal and the music stopped. My client says "Remember that time...."   I said "Um, yeah and I was just thinking about it when my speaker crapped out."