You Hang Tobacco?

Over the last six weeks I have been working with a terrific older southern gentleman who is battling dementia. As you might imagine there are many physical considerations that go into formulating his treatment plan--arthritis, cancer, and Alzheimer's are just a few of the conditions that I am helping him with. I travel to his home every two weeks.

On my first visit I was met with resistance. In fact I got a solid "NO" when I approached Doc(not his real name) about getting his massage. He smiled at me but he was quite sure that he did not want to get massaged. I did not pressure him. His daughter tried to help persuade him and was equally unsuccessful. It took his lovely wife, of 59 years, all of 10 seconds to change his mind.

Doc was on the massage table for 60 minutes and he probably asked me if I had put up tobacco at least 10 times. By the end of his session, I knew that earlier in his life, he had about 2000 acres of farmland and that he was distressed that this land had been developed into a shopping center. I also suspected that his asking about tobacco was a conversation starter that he had used over the years. His family confirmed this for me.

The second visit was basically the same, but with less resistance. I suggested that we leave his sweatpants on and only expose his back. This seemed to calm him a bit.  Doc asked me "Did you hang tobacco?" many times and after I began answering with an enthusiastic "YES", Doc would say "Okey Dokey".  This was our exchange for the hour. I knew I was helping Doc but I also knew that I could do better for him. I began researching essential oils and massage techniques to improve his session.

Last week when I arrived Doc met me at the door and "helped" me assemble my stool. He was not resistant at all when we discussed his massage. I came better prepared. I had coconut oil with frankincense and lavender cut into it. I focused most of his 60 minutes on his back, neck and scalp. Five minutes into his massage Doc said "That's nice."  Doc commented twice more on how nice his massage was feeling during our session.  He asked me about putting up tobacco several times and after I told him I had hung it--top rail too--he would exclaim "Well good for you!".  I was making Doc feel better and oddly enough he was making me feel pretty darn good about the tobacco I was (not really) raising.

*This* is the reason I do what I do. Touch and compassion heal.